Friday, August 14, 2009

In Dire Times

Many a times you just get addicted to writing, there is this voice inside you which calls out, urges you to write. Such calls or urges come to me when my mind's pretty messed up and there is just no one to listen to my infinite rubbish! And I inevitably end up in a rubbish imparting mood when there has been nothing to do in one whole day, but if one considers these dire times when the hapless citizens are made to sit back home because of a certain H1N1 virus roaming about freely (ironically in their place) around the city, one would realize that there would then be many such days when there would have been nothing to do, and if one has somehow been able to keep track of the flow, it is during such dire times I would be in the greatest of rubbish imparting moods!

Which is why I find it exceedingly necessary to put to all the folks' notice the habit of dogs (mostly male) to sniff places before deeming them as favorable for urinating. Something I managed to observe whilst i was doing absolutely nothing by my window, which is totally unlikely. The unlikeliness not being in standing by the window but in doing absolutely nothing! The usual and very reliable spending quality time in the loo had also become too boring by then! Though the logic of deeming a place clean enough to dirty later on seemed pretty absurd to me! Even more absurd was my sudden fixation with the intricacies of canine urination procedure. But, as i have been saying these are dire times!

These are times when many decide to sit back at home, and others decide to stand up to the adversity and make the most out of it! If one is left wondering how can one make the best out of this situation, one needs to simply look around and notice the repercussions-

1. The usual fellow who manages to squeeze through a perfectly crowded train and sell his pencils, pens, hankies, combs now comes up with these masks and that with sticking to his normal business strategy of assuring to sell them at rates lesser than the market price! What is even more startling is his promoting technique, wherein he himself is sporting a mask! He even has different types of masks ranging from 10 to 50! Too bad he cant let people try them before they buy them (as is another of their marketing strategies, if some do not know!)

2. How mobile companies earn with every sms which reads thus, "50 odd fellows affected by swine flu and you wear masks, but million odd people affected by AIDS but you dont wear condoms!" (In high sentiment we forget that the HIV virus does not roam about in the atmosphere, and that condoms are not worn on faces and thus their being worn might not be so conspicuous!)

3. How condom companies are enjoying the free publicity!

4. The convenience the police department could have during the Independence day, cause the terrorists will finally not be able to find any place which is too crowded! Maybe H1N1 did something good for us after all!

5.The convenience they could further have in areas around bandstand where many a soulmates (so called!) would finally not be able to get so intimate as to thrust each others facial parts into each others mouths in public! Unless, obviously, they find a way to do so throguh the masks! (assuming here that everyone is way too panic-stricken to take off these masks!)

6. How the usual burkha clad ladies internally mock everyone in that if every soul had followed their age old tradition there would have been no swine flul! The burkha might finally come into vogue after all! (which does bring pictures of random actresses clad in bikinis but having a mysterious veil over their face to ones mind, to promote the further awareness, and to go the PETA way!)

7. How, eventually, some extremely finicky ladies would find it exceedingly necessary to match their masks to their dresses, which in turn would trigger mass production of designer masks.

My personal experience with a makeshift mask was pretty annoying. The abominable piece of cloth was forever trying to fal off my face, apparently exposing me to the dangerous virus (!!) and my attempts to talk on the phone turned pretty tiresome, since even the most regular of my call receivers could not place the origins of the voice from the other side. But the biggest drawback of putting on a mask (makeshift or not) is that one has to breath back their own breath and if that is after one has just had a meal of which the major ingredient was onion, one is in for a putrid time! Some blighters could also realize the importance of brushing regularly and the anguish others go through when these blighters talk! (If you know what I mean!) Finally, the importance of mint shall dawn onto people!

Its ironical, thought, that this lack of freedom to roam about comes right around our Independence day, and that on account of some biological fiend which is too miniscule to be seen by the naked eye! Maybe, all this points out at something! Maybe, nature will have its say after all! Maybe, the freedom we are set to lose courtesy the virus was an illusion anyway! Maybe, this is a good time to ponder about this (than about random urinating procedures!) Maybe, we'll eventually get back to our normal lives and not bother about all this! Thats the most practical 'maybe' till now!
But whoever said most practical is the way to go....


Raj Rambhia said...

Good one. Try "why dogs sniff before they poop" in google. You will get a lot of answers. :-)
Also, the soul-mates defy your postulation. They are still observed at all those places with same intrepidness. :-)

flipped.... said...


Well, i happened to make that postulation as I had been the unfortunate witness of such fierce mouth on mouth action and it was very disturbing in a lot of ways! Was hoping something might finally put an end to it...
but love (the carnal one which we are now accustomed to), they say, finds a way out...

Niraj said...

abey kam likhnaa....

priyanka said...

hehe i agree with niraj :P
nah a good one :)
how those kids manage to find their way through the crowded trains is beyond my understanding!

flipped.... said...

hmm, cant helpt writing long- niraj!

well i dint know they did that in the ladies classs too..!
wow!!- priyanka

workhard said...

Man u r so hilarious in a very sarcastic way.. really enjoyed reading this.. the burqa part is funny.. i swear..

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